Unless you’ve been living under a rock so far, you’ve probably been tormented by this question and found yourself the victim of this love and hate shoe relationship. EVERYONE who’s anyone in fashion is wearing these mofos. I wonder, is it all just a case of playing cool with the most horrendous shoe in the history of mankind, are we really that mental, OR are they really a pretty darn sight on our feet?
Be honest here. That it’s no longer ‘cool’ to look pretty and off-the-retail-rack-dressed is no news (the normcore trend hello!), but when did Seinfeld and Newman become fucking style icons? While the BIRKENSTOCK trend feels like a massive inside joke from the sartorials, apparently everyone bought it. And not only that, but joke’s on whoever planned the prank (assuming they did), cause bloggers, stylists, and fashion maniacs all over the world started a fashion movement, cashing in on attention and bucks. With all the trends being accessible to every poor little wannabe’s fingertips & pockets, the posh ones decided they no longer wanted to look generic and bland, so instead they’re doing the opposite, which I think is pretty great. As a statement. Would I go normcore? Would you?
It’d certainly be a whole lot cheaper raiding our moms’ and dads’ clothes. My dad would probably laugh his ass off if he saw me in one of his 90s T-shirts or jerseys, paired with some mom jeans and, to pull it all together, wearing birkinstocks. Ha! He, and the rest of the world, would probably think it’s April’s Fool. Joke’s on them. No? Okay, so here’s the cold harsh truth: I am not mentally sane.
(1) on some good days, I LOVE birkenstocks, when my full-of-herself-persona feels style-confident, but doesn’t really give a crap about humans’ perception, with an all around day mantra of ‘Fuck you all, I’m rockroll‘. Cause really it takes a certain kinda mood, attitude and style to wear birkenstocks AND look great. The 2 concepts do not necessarily exclude each other. Style wise these shoes do not make justice for anyone, yet there’s a certain kinda coolness and French chicness, blended with a 90’s grunge, and a classic case of je m’en fiche – that make birkenstocks work. You’d be surprised to see how posh these too-comfortable shoes can make you feel, even when you pair them with office wear. Sure it’s not your classic per se smart attire, but an all-black or an all-white trouser suit with these sandals has got quite a sophistication to it.
Sporty looks, slouchy jeans, skinny jeans, crop tops, dresses, bermudas – anything really works. It’ll look clashed, but eclectic. Weird but intriguing. Not pretty, but fucking stylish. (2) on bad days, I HATE birkenstocks, when it feels like everyone is literally nuts, thinking that they look oh-so-posh when in fact they look like 50 year old German tourists, or Americans stuck in a 90s shopping mall, with their khaki bermudas, fanny-packs and fast-food cravings. And indulgings obviously.
And yes, it’s on these days that I find birkenstocks and the whole normcore thing a big pile of shit, shoved on the throats of consumerists and fashion victims alike, who just swallow this bullshit as if it’s a bloody $90 cake suppose to make you orgasmatic and skinny at the same time. And who’s the bigger idiot really?
Will we, in one year time, bring back the stripper heels and then so dramatically confess our total dislike, and RELIEF that these once cool sandals are finally gone?
I wouldn’t be surprised. They are definitely part of a fashion & social movement, which I applaud and salute. They exude a certain fashion, and to wear them one has to have a certain style, attitude, and ability to have fun and laugh both at fashion and at their own self. This, I find liberating.
But they’re still ugly as fuck.